Surprise Avoiders Gifts

'I hate surprises!'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Your mascara is running."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Nervous at a party.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"In all of Montana, you’ll not find a more sublime flyfisher than Mittens."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'It must be a milkfish.'

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"That's what we look like naked??"

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

Medical Exam

2016 Policlicks

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'He says he's an old friend from your childhood.'

"Okay, I'm intrigued."