Party Avoider Gifts

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

Nervous at a party.

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"And I vow, to always want to leave the party before you."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"As a child I attended birthday parties, as a lass I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals 'Deathday' parties if you will. And it's beautiful....becauce for once I don't have to buy the #@*7! a gift."

'I had nothing to say at this party because you told me not to talk about the good old days.'

"I've decided...there's no way I can throw a party while I house-sit for my Tia Zulema. I just know she'll find out about it."

"Enjoy your little cold. You won't feel that bad, but it's disgusting enough to get you out of your office Christmas party."

Beach con-man.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Crowded Ice Fishing

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Stag night high jinks.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

Clown Inhaling Laughing Gas

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Paratrooper landed in tree just as boy swinging at pinata.

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Die alone"

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

These were Bob's colleagues, all right, but clearly they hadn't received Funny Fred's global e-mail.

A Piñata has gone rogue during the celebrations at a Birthday party knocking out most of the Family members

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"