Scandal Avoider Gifts

Elect Ben Plowright...NO SEX TAPES! NO NUDE PHOTOS!...Vote Ben.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Spoiler alert."

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

Mary Trump

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

Celebrity Gavin Henson

Trump Lashes Out at John Bolton

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

The Original Gossip Columns

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.