Surfer At Heart Gifts

Pete Carroll

'The garnish was really good, but these biscuits are rather tasteless...'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Surfing koala.

Turtle Hat

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Sporting maladies.

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Gracebook.

101 uses of a dead cat: surf board.

'I hate rainy days!'

Portaloo Tidal Wave.

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

'Is the thrill worth the chance of wiping out and getting (shudder) wet?'

"We do a service to humanity by culling out the weak, the sick and the surfers."

'This is great! We should holiday at home next year too!'

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

"Dude, are you taking selfies?"

Love on a surfboard

Marry me on a surfboard

The Ultimate Beginner's Board

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

'Just think, our first wave as husband and wife.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.

Surf's up!

Surfing octopus.

'No surf?'

'C'mon! -- Let's evolve into Beach Boys!'