Supplement Sampler Gifts

'I'm part of a double-blind study to see how weight loss supplements help people lose weight. I'm guessing I received the sugar pill placebos.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"SHEESH. What will it be like when I'm eighty?!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Sinking Sand

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

Nutritional Supplements.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

Eating raw cake mix.

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

NEW FALL LINEUP

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'Buy a bottle of these vitamins. If you're strong enough to get the lid off, don't take them.'

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'...The world of vitamins can be complex.'

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

'Smoked salmon and cream cheese. What's in yours?'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"The doctor needs a spice sample."

'I can personally vouch for its potency, sir.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

Holistic Alcohol Consumption

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

'You know, hors d'oeuvres are completely lost on your side of the family.'

"Well, no, I'm not a practicing physician. I'm a non-practicing physician."

'I care about my family. That's why I take a supplement for iron poor blood.'

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

Working from home.

"Have you ever thought about putting out, instead of pretzels, maybe peanuts?"

American 'Idle'.