Superstition Humorist Gifts

"I knew it, there is an autocorrect demon!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"Gee, thanks pal."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"What are you doing?"

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."