Superstition Humorist Pillows

"I knew it, there is an autocorrect demon!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

German School

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'