Sunny Humorist Gifts

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Rude Snowpeople

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

Scene on the English coast.

"I'm not sure I like your working vacations."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Microwave Popcorn. Other side up. Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna.

Shakespeare at the beach ...

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

"Have you got room for a hand-knitted pullover?"

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

"It was a dark and stormy night...."

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

Sex is for Procreation Only.

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

"If that book is gonna deposit hundreds of grains of sand into our bed later tonight, it better be damn juicy."

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

A snowman protests the sun.

"It needs a bit of work."

'They're actually street lamp-powered panels.'

Toast with tanlines

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

The snow shovel is Joe's winter dance partner...

New Season's Bathing Machines

It's Saturday night. You're watching the Dateless Channel.

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

'The day after labor day at 8 AM, is good for me, is it good for you?'