Sunshine Humorist Gifts

Every summer Frank spends time at the beach catching up with his reading!

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Rude Snowpeople

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Scene on the English coast.

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

John takes a personivacation.

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

Microwave Popcorn. Other side up. Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna.

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

Shakespeare at the beach ...

So...who is your provider ?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"Does the radar make my backside look big?"

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

Sex is for Procreation Only.

'The law is clear. The salami sandwich sits downwind from the bench.'

Did you see our favorite comic strip today. The oldy Oldersons. Lemme see! Jebediah Drake's The Oldersons by Abner Drake, Jr. Oldena, you know, I can never tell the difference between pastrami and corned beef. Don't be so rye. Hilarious! But you know what bothers me? It's only in 95% of newspapers. Some papers are replacing it with new strips. What?! Mobilize the troops! The most powerful political group in America: AARC. The American Association of Retired Cartoon Readers. Give us Oldy or give

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

A snowman protests the sun.