Sunday School Anniversary Gifts

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'The good news and the bad news is that Sunday School attendance is up.'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Since Jesus keeps changing our names, I thought name tags would be nice."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"What are you writing?"

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"I can't believe it's another day closer to the end of school. This is the saddest time of the year. At least until tomorrow...then that will be the saddest time of the year."

'I just got back form a class reunion!'

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"Okay, it was a mean trick....but it was funny when I told John Gregory that used to be Tom Flynn!"

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'