School Anniversary Gifts

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

Eternal Student.

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

U of Debt

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

His Master's Thesis.

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

Student Debt

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me