Sunday School Events Gifts

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Coping with a strong-willed child

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Oh, Christ.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'

Jesus swept.

Next week tell us more about the "Noah Zark" guy!

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."