Sunday School Events Pillows

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Coping with a strong-willed child

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

King of Music.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'Oh, Christ.'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

Jesus swept.