Sunday School Gathering Pillows

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Coping with a strong-willed child

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Jesus swept.

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

Next week tell us more about the "Noah Zark" guy!

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

'I wish somebody would say something.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."