Sunday Gathering Pillows

'I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, but thanks to bingo I still get to church once a week.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

The devil you know and his plus one

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."