Sunday Meal Pillows

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Tartine

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

A child interrupting family prayers

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Expense account or regular?"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'