Sunday Meal Gifts

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Tartine

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

A child interrupting family prayers

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Expense account or regular?"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'