Sunday School Session Pillows

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

A child interrupting family prayers

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

I drive, therefore I am.

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

How's my sermon. . .