Summer Job Survivor Gifts

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

Working Environment

Why do I have to go to camp? What's the alternative? Fend for myself like the resourceful youth of old! Right! The kind who worked dawn to dusk! I'll tell your dad you'll be right over to haul mulch for the nursery. The baseball camp sounds plenty rugged!

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'Eureka! -- A cure for the summertime blues!'

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

Relief for America in the Heat.

Shrink's Summer Job

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'

Intense summer sun

Welcome to summer school.

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'