Sugar Cynic Gifts

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

Bored Baker

Obama builds own gallows.

'What you need is some negative growth.'

'Little Miss Muffet 2009'

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'This tastes like dishwater.'

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

"It's sugar, fat, gluten and lactose free...They say it will help you live longer."

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."

"Toothbrushes...to brush with after eating your Halloween treats!"

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

'I've got the 'fat bastard' gene.'

"Since you don't like fruit, I got you a donut."

'Don't tell me about the basic goodness of children - as soon as there were two, Cain killed Abel!'

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"Yeah, you're right, these can cause long term health issues. But trust me, for you that's not gonna be a problem."

"You are accused of enticing children to eat gingerbread, thereby increasing their chances of childhood obesity."

'Can I get just a little bit of coffee with my sugar, please.'

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'