Sugar Cynic Gifts

Pinata suicide note: 'Cruel World, You see? Your parents were right. Eat your veggies. Candy is bad for you. Bad, Bad, Bad. Pinata.;'

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

Bored Baker

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Obama builds own gallows.

'Little Miss Muffet 2009'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

'Oh I've always been a sceptic, through all my past lives.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"Daddy will be home shortly. He's doing a little moonlighting."

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'This tastes like dishwater.'

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

"It's sugar, fat, gluten and lactose free...They say it will help you live longer."

"Toothbrushes...to brush with after eating your Halloween treats!"

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

'I've got the 'fat bastard' gene.'

"Since you don't like fruit, I got you a donut."

'Don't tell me about the basic goodness of children - as soon as there were two, Cain killed Abel!'

"You are accused of enticing children to eat gingerbread, thereby increasing their chances of childhood obesity."

Such a Coincidence

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"Yeah, you're right, these can cause long term health issues. But trust me, for you that's not gonna be a problem."

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'

Yield. F&E Bakery. We're getting more dieters since they put that "yield" sign on the street out front.