Sugar Snob Gifts

Yield. F&E Bakery. We're getting more dieters since they put that "yield" sign on the street out front.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Sweet surprise.

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

I Bake. Deal with it.

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

Inappropriate garnish.

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

It's crème brûlée, Julia. It doesn't have a subtext.

"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."