Sugar Critics Gifts

"I don't care what the health officials say - having sugar in my tea does not make me a white extremist."

"I see chocolate bars are on special again. . . where's the duty of care?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Sweet surprise.

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

I Bake. Deal with it.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

It's crème brûlée, Julia. It doesn't have a subtext.

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"