Suck-up Specialist Gifts

I frame all yours, JB.

Soup of the month.

God's Subcontractors

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Swimming Prankster

The Inexperienced Cook

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Women Seeking Men

'HEY,no Tongue!'

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Cookies now? Or cookies later?"

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

'You only caught one?'

"There he goes again! What on earth does he do with it all?!"

'Baby's teething.'

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

"Cough! Cough! Cough! Hack-hack! Cough! cough! cough!"

'Tastes just like the cans of soup my Mom used to open and heat.'

"And now, our motivational squeaker."

'He's got a dreadful cold - everytime he sneezes he covers the place in soot'.

Fortune teller buying the 'soup of tomorrow'.

'We offer three sizes of blankeys.'