Successful Investment Gifts

'Stocks rebounded from yesterday's losses on news that 'it aint over till it's over'.'

'Wasn't it about here, when you begrudgingly, decided to try my 'ridiculous' investment plan?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

In the Guru District

Butterfly Woman

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Bullseye!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Boom

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'