Investment Gifts

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

Belt-tightening

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

'How late do you expect to be working?'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

life route

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'All this internet trading has caused you to neglect your children!' 'What children?'

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

Wealth Juggler.

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

Watching a tennis match vs. watching the stock market.

'I have mostly conservative investments in my retirement portfolio, plus a few riskier, short-term performers tossed in as a hedge against inflation.'

In the Guru District

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Don't turn the page yet - I'm not finished!'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'How much are you currently worth? Good question, let's see. You mean, aside from the sentimental value?'

"Long-term, I like bonds; intermediate-term I like equities; and short-term, I like scotch."

'I'm having trouble sleeping, Rob. Do you think you could explain, one more thing how you picked our mutual funds?'

The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.

Successful business man

"This is Ludwig. He's our expert in the inverted yield curve."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Jason feels insecure if he's too far from his money... but electronic bank statements have cured that!'

'I've combined your mortgage,cars,motorhome and boat into what we like to call here at ACME bank, a HONKIN' BIG LOAN.'

Company boss says to baby: 'I've called you in here to keep you in the loop as we've made some very long-term investments,'

'I'm here to ask you for funding for my further development.'

Risk assesment

'How are you getting on with the strategy for growth ?'