Investing Gifts

"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

Bull and bear checking in for work.

'He's from Goldman Sacks.'

"Stocks can be risky, and you've got to be able to sleep at night. We'll set aside half your money for sleeping pills."

"Right now I think the wisest strategy is to diversify among your mattresses."

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

"He manages a broad stock index fund."

"How do you stay so calm about the stock market?"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall Street

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

"On Wall Street today, the stock market corrected its previous correction, and is pretty sure it's got it right this time."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'I see your investments going up but it's not clear which ones or when.'

'Did you say 'buy-buy' or 'bye-bye'?'

"Oh, I'm really sorry. I just placed three million with some broker who called five minutes ago."

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"I've hedged against inflation and I've hedged against deflation, but price stability could knock me for a loop."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Invest? No offense, but I've read about you guys."

'It's a market vane. It helps me keep track of the trade winds.'

"Analysts blamed the market's volatility on computer-directed trading while computers blamed it on analyst-directed trading."

Bull Arm Wrestling A Bear.

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

Thanks a Mil, Warren!

News on television: 'On Wall Street, stocks rebounded on news that 'up' and 'down' are just states of mind.'

"Have you considered short-term treasurys?"

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Being adversaries got stale, so now we're drinking buddies."

The Victorious Turtle

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'