Business Investing Gifts

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

In the Guru District

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Profit

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'