Business Investing Gifts

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

In the Guru District

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

The president's men

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.