Financial Investment Gifts

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

In the Guru District

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Profit