Investment Intellectual Gifts

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Bank Brain

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Hollywood Sign Developers

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

In the Guru District

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Will work for ETFs

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Invest in technology."

Miss America IQ Pageant

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

Paul Ree

The Shrinking Dollar.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."