Investment Thinker Gifts

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'I steal all my investment ideas - but only from the very best.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Jack of all trades

Profit

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Invest in technology."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

Wall Street Couch

The Shrinking Dollar.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'