Stock Market Thinker Gifts

The United States Public Debt.

The presentation was going well. The board were polite and attentive but deep down Raymond knew that they were thinking: "What does this guy know about the futures market? He's just a young pup."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'