Investment Thinker Pillows

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'I steal all my investment ideas - but only from the very best.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Profit

Jack of all trades

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Invest in technology."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Wall Street Couch

The Shrinking Dollar.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'