Investment Philosopher Pillows

"What's the current dividend yield of IBM?..."

'Ed, can you remember what that rumor was you had started at that time?'

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

"Instead of getting a job this summer, I'm buying 50 lottery tickets every week."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Wall St. or True Love.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Tempest in a Teapot

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Money god

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Economic Downturns