Investment T-Shirts

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

Belt-tightening

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

'How late do you expect to be working?'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

life route

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'All this internet trading has caused you to neglect your children!' 'What children?'

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

'I have mostly conservative investments in my retirement portfolio, plus a few riskier, short-term performers tossed in as a hedge against inflation.'

Watching a tennis match vs. watching the stock market.

Wealth Juggler.

In the Guru District

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Don't turn the page yet - I'm not finished!'

'How much are you currently worth? Good question, let's see. You mean, aside from the sentimental value?'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"Long-term, I like bonds; intermediate-term I like equities; and short-term, I like scotch."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Successful business man

'I'm having trouble sleeping, Rob. Do you think you could explain, one more thing how you picked our mutual funds?'

"This is Ludwig. He's our expert in the inverted yield curve."

The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.

Risk assesment

'Jason feels insecure if he's too far from his money... but electronic bank statements have cured that!'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'I've combined your mortgage,cars,motorhome and boat into what we like to call here at ACME bank, a HONKIN' BIG LOAN.'

'It's a venture capitalist.'

Company boss says to baby: 'I've called you in here to keep you in the loop as we've made some very long-term investments,'