Suburbia Strategist Gifts

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"He loves his leaf blower."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Beware of the Lawn

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"This is my stop, Phil, you'll be C.E.O. till Sixty-third Street."

Sidewalk the game

Great Urban Sprawl

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."

Police Log from Suburbia Heights in Haiku Form

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

'Looks like they have their own problems with suburban encroachment.'

Igloo.

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

The Strings on Farm Subsidies.

Please stand by...for view.

ahhh...peace and quiet...

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"