Suburbia Analyst Gifts

Generational Warfare Lite

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Beware of the Lawn

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"Dad's home."

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

Great Urban Sprawl

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

Poker Moms

"I told you everyone was moving out of the city!"

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

Police Log from Suburbia Heights in Haiku Form

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

Burbivore

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"