Suburban Navigators Gifts

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Great Drywall of Sheboygan.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Parallel Parking Garage

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Garage sale.

Children use their dad as a seesaw base.

- 'Have you a map of London Underground?' - 'Try the basement!'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Well, look who's here.

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Town follows the snow plough.

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Mountain Bike tracks.

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

"Between the price of a comic book and having to pay the bully down the street not to beat me up, my allowance is spent the same day I get it!"

'Yeh-yeh-yeh - we're right on the corner of First and Main!'

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

The citizens of Fullerton, Nebraska, celebrate the historic meeting of East and West Coast Suburban Sprawl.

'Where's the dog?'

"So what's it like living out in the sticks"