Suburban Navigators T-Shirts

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

The Great Drywall of Sheboygan.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Parallel Parking Garage

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Garage sale.

It's great, but you never want to buy the best house in the neighborhood. For sale.

- 'Have you a map of London Underground?' - 'Try the basement!'

Children use their dad as a seesaw base.

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Well, look who's here.

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Town follows the snow plough.

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Mountain Bike tracks.

"Between the price of a comic book and having to pay the bully down the street not to beat me up, my allowance is spent the same day I get it!"

'Yeh-yeh-yeh - we're right on the corner of First and Main!'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'I have to take this call right now. Just go on across the street and text me so I'll know you made it okay.'

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

The citizens of Fullerton, Nebraska, celebrate the historic meeting of East and West Coast Suburban Sprawl.

'Where's the dog?'