Suburban Gladiator Pillows

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Prize vegetables.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Human males marking territory.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Two office workers playing between their cubicles.

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Football Blockers.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"