Sweat Gladiator Pillows

Weight lifter with weights up in the air. All the officials wearing clothes pegs due to the bad body odour problem.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'He has some unresolved issues.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

Football Blockers.

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'Here's my mother's number in case I don't make it.'

"She can be outspoken."

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

Monster chariot races

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Emperor and cat.

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

Crisis at the health club.

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'