Sweat Gladiator Gifts

Weight lifter with weights up in the air. All the officials wearing clothes pegs due to the bad body odour problem.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'He has some unresolved issues.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

Football Blockers.

'Here's my mother's number in case I don't make it.'

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

"She can be outspoken."

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

Monster chariot races

You Don't Know What It's Like

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

Emperor and cat.

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

Crisis at the health club.