Suburban Aspirants Gifts

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"The trees are laughing at us."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Great Urban Sprawl

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

Office block moving to the suburbs.

"We're looking for a traditional suburban neighborhood with all the urban amenities."

Poker Moms

Suburban blues legends

"I told you everyone was moving out of the city!"

"This happy breed of men, this little world, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this east end of Long Island!"

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

"It ran amok."

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Couple in garden, "Look - Lawrence of suburbia."

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

Whole family rushing to see a newly laid egg

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

ahhh...peace and quiet...

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

"There's suburbia for you: halfway there, then everything grinds to a halt."