Stuff Collector T-Shirts

Stuff Happened

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Posh Easter Egg

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Utility Chic.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"I wonder what this was for."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.