Clothes Collector T-Shirts

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Do you do much walking?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"Personally, I'd recommend something a little less formal for being run out of town."

Inactive wear store.

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

John Bull dressed in the French fashionable clothing of 1799

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"Long Johns Silver."

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Ahem."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

Too Much?

Frock Coat

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

Pirate trying on parrots.

Paris Fashions, Winter 1863-64

'As marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition, my advice is that you trade ends occasionally.'

A superhero getting dressed in the morning.

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

'It's goose down!'

'When he said he was interested in balls I thought he meant football.'