Clothes Collector T-Shirts

Bad Outfit Alarm.

Listen, if you had to clean this jacket, you'd put down newspaper, too.

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Do you do much walking?"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"Personally, I'd recommend something a little less formal for being run out of town."

Inactive wear store.

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"Trust me – she's a witch."

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

"Long Johns Silver."

John Bull dressed in the French fashionable clothing of 1799

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"Ahem."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Too Much?

"It was a crime of fashion."

Frock Coat

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Pirate trying on parrots.

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

A superhero getting dressed in the morning.

Paris Fashions, Winter 1863-64

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."