Stubbornness Appreciator Pillows

A Golden Non-Retriever

"I am not asking for directions."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Don't Take No For an Answer

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Amongst the rush.

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Bashful Royal Guard

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

Well, I'm not leaving.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"Have you come far?"

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."

Deferential equations.

After forty-odd years, Joan finally gets a 'hole in one'!

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."

'More tea, Wicca?'

"I'm giving you one last chance to talk before Vinny says 'Please.' "

"I hate to be a wet blanket, Officer, but I wish to report my purse has been snatched."

Elitist Humour For the Upper Class...