Stubbornness Champion Pillows

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Dancing Doctor

"I am not asking for directions."

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Noise Pollution

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Don't Take No For an Answer

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

Do Not Lean In

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

I know hard work pays off in the long run, but goofing off has such immediate rewards!

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

"Of course it's blank, my essay is about writer's block."

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

No Title

"On the bright side, ever since the layoff and my divorce it's been much easier to balance work and family."

!I'd prefer to lie here and do nothing - but half a loaf is better than none.'

Over-qualified?

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

"Come on, Andrea. Let's not let a few ants ruin our picnic,

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'