Slobbish Behavior Appreciator Pillows

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

I Pagliacci

'I said point, not poke!'

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"...but, seriously..."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"Have you ever heard anyone yell 'EEEK! A psychiatrist!'?"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

Rhino bird in the rain

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

Secateurs and non-secateurs

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

Barristers playing a joke

"Are you binge watching again?"

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'