Slobbish Behavior Appreciator Gifts

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

I Pagliacci

'I said point, not poke!'

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"...but, seriously..."

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"Have you ever heard anyone yell 'EEEK! A psychiatrist!'?"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

Rhino bird in the rain

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"Let's change that to 'Please be seated'."

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Secateurs and non-secateurs

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'Known in his youth as the 'Keister Bunny', due to the many atomic wedgies he received, Peter would become the greatest of all cottontails.'

"With Mindfulness, one may learn to sit through all distractions."

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

I think this is the episode of "Leave It to Beaver" where Wally and Eddie chain Lumpy's car to a tree. Couldn

Barristers playing a joke

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

"Let's try that again with a 'please' and 'thank you.'"