Stubbornness Appreciator Gifts

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I am not asking for directions."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Don't Take No For an Answer

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Amongst the rush.

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Bashful Royal Guard

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

Al, why haven't you ever told me about the birds and the bees? Because I find ornithology and entomology even more embarrassing than sex.

Well, I'm not leaving.

"Thanks for the unexpected lift. You can drop me off here. Or here. Or here. Or here."

"Have you come far?"

Deferential equations.

After forty-odd years, Joan finally gets a 'hole in one'!

"I hate to be a wet blanket, Officer, but I wish to report my purse has been snatched."

"I'm giving you one last chance to talk before Vinny says 'Please.' "

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."

'More tea, Wicca?'

Elitist Humour For the Upper Class...