String Saver Pillows

"Why do you have a string tied around your finger, Tia Carmen?"

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

Murphy bed...Murphy.

Cash Rebate

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

It's not a love bite, I just play the violin.

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

World Meat Consumptiom

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

Daylight saving

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'Must you get new clothes every season? I'm still wearing stuff I got years ago.'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

"It's a slow hit man!"

'A decade ago, who could have envisioned beds on the wall?'

'hello dear, I just got my new office and i think they're trying to tell me something.'

'It's a small apartment. I'd invite you in, but there's only enough room for me.'

'This is a teeny. Do you have it in a weeny?'

'Solar heat is fine, but I miss our privacy!'

"Enough of this. Just suck it up and borrow the neighbor’s laptop charger."

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

'We can't afford a bigger house, and stop referring to your room as your cubicle.'

Then and Now

Middle Age: When a man turns out the light sfor economic reasons rather than for romantic ones!

"C'mon, Phil! Before all the good stuff's gone!"